my last week in review for a while

it's been a hard several weeks

i'm going to take a break from posting any posts here
for I don't know how long

it's been hard to just relax

it's been hard to be brave

in the middle of it, john and i worked in the preschool class at church on sunday
the little boys climb all over him when he's there
just like john climbed all over the college baseball players 
when he was in preschool
what goes around comes around

in the middle of it, kaitlin had a volleyball tournament
she played great
despite all that was going on
so proud of her
i have to live with myself
i can't get away from me
even though i try
and if i need to live with myself
i better start taking care of myself
even if it's hard
because coping is 
even harder

had to do some packing
not the fun kind
not anticipating a fun journey ahead

i am on a journey
to i don't know where or what or how

a journey to health, hopefully

at the end of the day
the end of some dreams
the end of coping
a new beginning


my week in review: 5/9-15//2014

Sharing my Instagram photos and the stories behind them.

Baseball season (aka. crazy family schedule) continues.
I'm totally okay with the crazy schedule. It's the way it is.

Just don't complain about what's for dinner.
Or what time we eat it.

And also don't leave milk in your cereal bowl.
Especially organic milk. Ugh!
This particular morning there was so much left that I could fill a glass.
Which is what I did. Along with the note.
I hope they got the message.

I posted this on Mother's Day.
It's my mom holding me.
I love her.
So glad she's my mommy.

I'm so glad I get to my my kids' mommy.
They're the best.
Even if they pour too much milk.

This week for my Brene Brown course we talked about the importance of play.
Wholehearted people laugh and dance and sing.
So we had to make a playlist of songs that fit the categories she gave us.

Rise Up Song(s)
 Every time I hear these two songs, my soul soars.
Born to Fly by Sara Evans 
 I'll Fly Away by Alison Krauss & Gillian Welch

Dance Song(s)
If I had to narrow it down to just one dance song for a playlist, I'd have to choose
YMCA by Village People 
because who doesn't get up to do the YMCA motions when that song comes on?
But I didn't narrow it down to just one song because this song
Thriller by Michael Jackson
gets me going every time I hear it (ask my kids). 
Also, because of this scene from 13 Going On 30.

Sing Along Song
I just like singing along to All I Wanna Do by Sheryl Crow
because, really, all I wanna do is have some fun.
And I have a feeling I'm not the only one.

Tough Times Song
Everytime I hear Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae 
it makes me feel better.
"Just relax, just relax," she tells me. "You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow."

Feisty Song
Brene said this one is supposed to be a "kick ass" song.
I'm not sure that I really identify with a kick ass song.
But when I heard Mama's Broken Heart by Miranda Lambert for the first time, 
I sure did like it. And I felt kinda feisty.

I downloaded the songs that I didn't already have and have been listening to this playlist all week.
I'm feeling more wholehearted already.

I'm @annebickle linking up with @jeannettg for InstaFriday.

life rearranged


my week in review: 5/2-8//2014

my week in Instas and the stories behind them.

These two girls. I love em.

McKenna pretty much stays at our house each time there's a volleyball tournament. She calls me mom. I call her Honey. They helped me get ready for Sarah's birthday party on Friday. I gave them some ribbon and told them to have at the light, to make it festive.

They did good.

If you blow up 24 balloons for a birthday party and have them laying around, a balloon fight will break out. If the party involves 10 year old girls there will be much high pitched screaming. I know this from experience.

On Saturday we had a pizza party for the volleyball team. Then we had these 4 girls spend the night. I had to promise their moms that I'd make them go to bed so they wouldn't be tired for bracket play the next day.

Kaitlin is serving up the last points of the winning match.

First place in their division!

Maybe sleepovers at the Bickle house is what clinched it? Or the pancakes and bacon they had for breakfast?

I mean, in addition to the excellent volleyball skills of the girls, of course.

I guess they really loved their trophy.

So Monday was Cinco de Mayo. And I'm not Mexican, but I appreciate a good Margarita. I also appreciate putting a smile on a friend's face. So when my friend suggested we have a Margarita on Cinco de Mayo, I came prepared with sombreros and moustaches.

I brought Kaitlin with me so that she could watch the four boys while we had some girl time. Kaitlin bathed the two younger ones who'd been playing in the mud and then fed them and kept them (mostly) away from us while we visited on the deck. Such a huge ministry she had to my friend that day.

Here's a great quote that I got from my #olcbrenecourse this week:

For our assignment this week we had to think about what our strengths and accompanying weaknesses are and journal them. Brene referred to them as our "superpowers" and our "kryptonite."

A smile faster than a speeding bullet!
Microsoft Office skills more powerful than a locomotive!
Able to leap tall piles of laundry in a single bound!
It's SuperAnne!

I kinda struggled over this one and had to consult my family about what they thought my superpowers are.

And if those are my superpowers, here's my accompanying kryptonite:

I am so tenderhearted that I am easily broken hearted.
I am so even keeled that I am hard to read, therefore often misunderstood.
I am so flexible that I sometimes don't have a backbone.
I am creative, but I have way too many projects going on that are not finished.
I am easy to talk with, but I am not good at developing deep relationships.
I am genuine. Sometimes I'm not sure how good that is, but it is what it is, genuine.

I'm @annebickle, linking up with @jeannettg for InstaFriday.

life rearranged


my week(s) in review: 4/18-5/1//2014

Sarah turned 10 on the 19th. My youngest is in double digits!

We woke her up with a birthday breakfast. A tradition.

And told her about the day she was born. Another tradition.

Then we watched baseball.

John (at bat) played in the 9th grade game and the JV game. We watched him for a few innings of each game, but the birthday girl wasn't really wanting to spend her birthday at the ball field.

She and I headed to the mall to have some birthday shopping mother daughter time.

Then we had a Mystery Meal for her birthday dinner, which was her request.

Me and my ten year old girl.

I've gotten behind in my Brene Brown course assignments. Here's one though. I had to make this sign and post it somewhere I would see it. Because being creative is really important to living wholeheartedly.

Brene said something that I thought was pretty interesting (and I'm paraphrasing):

We are all creative beings. It's just that some people use their creativity and some don't. And if you don't use your creativity, you will become frustrated because you are a creative being. So make time to be creative.

After work on Friday I sat outside. I SAT OUTSIDE! It was so monumentous that I had to Instagram it. I lasted about three minutes. It looked nice, but it was still a little chilly.

I watched baseball games on Saturday. It was windy and cold! I felt like the Unibomber with my hoodie and sunglasses.

Three baseball games, btw! I really ought to win some sort of an award.

I rarely get to watch JD coach the varsity players who I hear so much about, so I wanted to watch the varsity game. Then John played in both the JV game and the 9th grade games, so of course I had to play in those.

During the JV game, after John made a good play at shortstop and a great throw to get the runner out at first, one of the parents in the stands said, "who IS that kid?" and I was all like, "he's MY kid!!!!" (Except I said that silently in my head because I don't like to draw attention to myself.)

I made a Frosty run. A friend of mine is alone with four boys ages 3-9, trying to keep her house "show-ready" until they sell it. (Her husband is in Ohio, having already started his new job.) One day I got a text from her that said she wanted a Frosty. On top of everything else she has going on, she had a migraine and strep throat. I went and got her a Frosty. Because that's what friends do.

When JD got the job here in Rochester, I was alone with the kids in Kansas City until our house there sold. I know it's tough.

JD asked me to write down the ingredients for the laundry soap so that he could buy them and make it because we were out. He tried to make it, but I couldn't bear to watch him struggle with grating the soap, so I finished it up.

We had to laugh. When I first said I wanted to make our laundry soap, he rolled his eyes and humored me. Now he's willing to buy the ingredients and make it! We've come a long way, baby.

I'm @annebickle on Instagram. Linking up with @jeannettg for InstaFriday.

life rearranged


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